Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up – Volume 1

There are amazing people in this world. Maybe you have not met them yet but allow me to assure you that these people, they take your breath away. The adage that it takes one to know one does not apply here. I am ordinary in most things other than the fact that I believe in people.

However, I cannot start this without special mention of very special friend. I cannot emote well so this might come off as mean, but most dogs deserve more praise then a human. There is a reason that Allah has singled out a dog as being ‘najis’ and that is because yeah, not well groomed they are fleabags. Yet us humans can be scumbags even when grooming is impeccable.

People person is not how anyone who knows me would use as a description. This means that as friends in my life is scarce — generally self imposed — I am a fiercely loyal and protective friend. Call me a Labrador, because as opposed to feeling insulted, a dog is more noble than most people I meet. That and the fact that a Lab named Guybrush Threepwood has been a friend that shared my life ordeals and helped me come out of them a better man.

When I got divorced and left the house, all I had was the shirt on my back, 32 bucks and some change, a pack of Salems, and Guybrush. We had nowhere to go, such was the abrupt way my life fell apart. Sitting in a bus stand beside Bangsar Shopping Centre, he looked at me and snuggled beside my feet. I knew things will be okay but at that point I felt that it did not matter what you had, when all you wanted was just to be loved. Yet Guybrush, he loved me. That was good enough and we walked over to a friends place nearby where I began to heal a broken heart and Guybrush demolished a  Nike shoe.

From that moment on, we got along just fine without women in my life. He had scheduled dates and for a while the running joke amongst my mates was that Guybrush was getting laid more than me, a fact that spoke more of me than my emotional crutch. I still miss Guybrush, and since he died, never even contemplated another Lab.

Growing up alone, the main theme during my childhood was the boredom of being the only child. I was never short of attention from divorced parents and their guilt, and obviously pampered with everything money can buy. What that meant is that while many things such as an Apple IIe computer and a Nikon F2 camera was mine at 12, what I really lacked was friends, and because I am socially inept, the desire to have many friends evaporated in a mist of disappointment and anger.

This is the part that defined me as an individual. I am fiercely loyal to the people I call friends. I argue with them, and on occasions take on a less than friendly tone. The 3-4 friends that I have know that this is because I fear for them and I only have two states. Rational, calm and composed or off the handle angry.

These friends of mine are amazing people. They all bumped into me quite by chance as our social circle does not overlap. Two of them were my childhood friends of whom have known me almost my entire life — and theirs too. These two guys are some of the most intelligent people I know. They are not at the top of their industry but allow me to also add that this is a very conscious decision. Its their intellect that allows the ability to be really good at what they do and not desire the rubber stamp of their peers.

This intellect also allows them to see that the Malays essentially destroys their finest sons out of envy and petty jealousy. Too many acquaintance of mine were overjoyed when their talents got the attention of an UMNO Minister. They were people who merely wanted the attention so they could contribute to Nation Building. UMNO of late no longer was where the elite and noble gathered. It is now a boulevard of broken dreams and graveyard to honest men.

Anwar Ibrahim is most notorious of UMNO power nodes that left a trail of destruction behind him. His Machiavellian attitude and inner demons meant that he could very easily charm you into doing his bidding and them take you apart to shower blame on.

Many never recovered. Suffice to say that people who genuinely want to contribute have already garnered measurable success, and money is so not an objective that they spend their own and only require the endorsement of a Minister. Yet these are the fellows who the vultures around the UMNO warlords will devour. When you are prepared to pay, everything cost money to an UMNO sycophant and you are prey. The fact that people like these are the hope that Malays have to bersaing does not matter to them. They just see a cash register, and these hugely talented people are blinded by their desire to serve, makes them easy prey. Cream rises, but shit too floats.

Forget UMNO, focus on the talent within it. There is Khairy who after a rocky start has found his rhythm and is staffing his inner circle with talent and nurturing an army of smart and loyal people. There is Rahman Dahlan who takes on bullshit with the charm and intellect of a well bred gentleman and wisdom that often puts street brawlers like Kit Siang to shame. There is Nur Jazlan, who likes his name shines very brightly when one knows him and is pedigree of the doyen of old UMNO.

These guys are in there despite the vitriol they suffer from back stabbers in their own party and the alternative that really makes Malaysian politics mainly a choice between two evils.

You have Zaid Ibrahim who claims to have left UMNO as a Minister because he had scruples, when all he had was money made from UMNO and a sense of entitlement that comes with easy money. Lets be honest. This man left PKR to form KITA, his own party. We never heard of other members, and KITA which literally means ‘us’ and had Zaid and members he paid to come to his own party, did not quite agree with Zaid. He is now in DAP. From de-facto Law Minister to de-facto barua derhaka bangsa dan ugama.

The really amazing people stick it out and build their vision starting with those around them. They do not have to speak much for attention because their work garners enough. All of them have packed schedules but never complain when a friend needs them, when the Nation needs them and all of them price loyalty above all else, and begin by being loyal.

Don’t buy the hype of the Melayu slim-shady. Most of them have a talent for attracting attention but does not stand to close inspection.

Apa makanan kegemaran orang melayu? Orang Melayu.

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